This evening my daughter Arwen’s beloved cat Karma passed away. We’ve had an amazingly difficult last nine months as three of our older cats have transitioned from this life. We learned Karma was sick shortly after our last cat Romeo died, and couldn’t fathom how Arwen would handle the loss of another. Especially since she was “her” cat… she stood guard over her while she slept as a baby, glared at me if I didn’t respond fast enough to her cries, and never strayed farther than three feet from her.
Arwen’s insight into Karma’s impending death has surprised me. She spoke of how her body would no longer be broken, and how she would stop her poor choice-making (Karma was a bit naughty with certain things) after she died. We also spoke about how she would now be in the wind and the whispers of all there is. How the things that we love never really leave us, even if we can’t see them any longer. It is then that we simply must tune into the deepest part of ourselves that understands more than we do and can guide us with nudges of intuition and guidance. Life is always like that. We always have that guidance within and can choose to trust it always.
That happened for me tonight, although I didn’t realize I was listening to it until I understood all the parts that were in motion. We were eating ice cream outside and Arwen asked for a washcloth. I usually brought one out with us but choose not to do so tonight. When I went in to get one, I immediately went to Karma and decided to take her outside where she so loved to be; I nearly forgot the washcloth. I held her on my lap and within 15 minutes knew that she would soon be leaving. We gathered together and held the space around her with peace and love. As she shifted I spoke to her about all those things that need to be said when someone is leaving. I held her, and the ground supported her, as she saw the things that we will each witness for ourselves one day. If I had taken the washcloth with us when we first went outside, she would have passed by herself. I didn’t understand the logic behind my reluctance to take it with us, but I didn’t question it either. I’m learning to trust my choices and believe in my known and unknown abilities more than I have before.
We’ve also witnessed a changing of the guard, so to speak, within our family. As Karma began to withdraw into herself these last weeks, Hobo (our newest family member) has stepped right into that role of guardian. He sleeps at the foot of her bed, and helps her when she is upset. There is an unexplainable grace that is guiding things which makes all the chaos bearable and even joyful. For that I am truly grateful.
I invite you to welcome into your own life the gift of trusting your own inner guidance. I’m learning that you don’t need to understand it or have any of the answers, only know that it will guide you through the ups and downs in life with an elegance that is astounding.
Rest in peace, sweet Karma, and know that you are loved.