When Shame is Holding You Back

You can feel deep within yourself when you’re being true to who you’re meant to be… and when you’re not.

So often when someone goes through a significant life experience they perceive as negative, a feeling of shame can set in.

They criticize themselves for their lack of foresight, how they handled things, and why it happened to them…

  • How could I have been so blind [stupid, thoughtless, …] to not see this coming?  I’m such a fool.
  • If only I did things differently then I wouldn’t be in this situation.  This is all my fault.
  • I guess I don’t deserve anything better.  I’m not good enough…

Shame impacts the limbic system and causes the body to go into the freeze state.  There’s a deep sense of powerlessness, isolation, and an inability to move forward that’s felt.

What’s more, the shameful feelings you have cause you to feel shame about having those feelings.

It’s here that you can get stuck just going through the motions, pretending everything is fine, not daring to rock the boat.  The masks you might wear to show the world you’ve got it together only reinforce your incongruence because internally you know that’s not the life you’re living.

This makes it nearly impossible to overcome those big events in life AND fulfill your highest potential if you’re not allowing yourself to fully process the situation you’ve experienced.  That means feeling it completely and allowing the powerful emotions to move through you.

But more often than not, we simply try to push through to do what needs to be done.

Yet our bodies and our spirit won’t allow us to pretend.  Those never lie.

  • Numbing out, overworking, overindulging… Your heart of hearts will know when you’re distracting yourself
  • You’ll pay the price when you neglect your health and your body will be eager to remind you through low energy, headaches, and body aches.

At some point, something needs to happen to cause you to interrupt the pattern you’ve been experiencing and living in.

  • Maybe one day you when you glance in the mirror you no longer recognize the reflection looking back at you.
  • Or you’re in the middle of doing something for someone else when you finally realize you never do anything for yourself anymore.
  • Perhaps you fall into bed exhausted wondering where the day went, knowing you didn’t accomplish what you set out to do.

So not only do you need to address the logistical aspects of your current situation but you’ll also need to excavate the shame underneath the layers of denial that are holding you back.

When you do, you’ll experience a visceral sensation that tells you you’re in alignment with your best self.

That’s when you’ll move forward by quantum leaps and discover a magic within yourself and the world around you.  Transform the feelings of shame and your life will never be the same.


  1. Get real and completely honest with yourself about what you’re feeling.
  2. Discover how your shame is causing you to play small and impacting the decisions you’re making.
  3. Break the pattern by creating new empowered beliefs and actions that support your desires.

It takes courage and commitment and the rewards you’ll experience are beyond comparison.

I believe in you and know you can do it.

The life you’re called to live is bigger than the limitations you’ve been experiencing, and so much more important than you know.

Cheering you on,

P.S. If you’ve been stuck or struggling longer than you’d like, or you simply want to take the fast track to your happiness and success (whatever that means to you), then let’s talk.

I’ve upleveled and enhanced my signature program with even more value than ever before 3 steps to get you from feeling mentally drained, physically exhausted, and spiritually depleted to redefining and falling in love with your authentic self, feeling empowered to create your best life, and honoring your spiritual path and purpose.

The call is completely free, and without obligation, so there’s no reason to wait. This simple conversation is a chance for us to get to know each other better, hear more about your situation and your needs, and it could be the one call that changes everything. Let’s book that call sooner than later.  You’re worthy and ready for your next step.

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